An Epiphany?

The nation has gone into melt down.

Not only has Jeremy Clarkson been sacked from the BBC, but Zayn is no longer a member of One Direction.

HOW ARE WE GOING TO COPE?

An entire television station without the charming, sensation that is Jeremy Clarkson?! 

The planets best music group having a fifth of their admirable musical talent ripped away?!

Is this really the 21st century?! What does the future hold for the rest of us now?!

Zayn Malik. Now firstly, I think One Direction could have dealt with this very differently. The heartbreak and grief everybody is experiencing from Zayn's departure is undoubtedly going to have major impacts on the future of the band. The possibility of fans residing to their wardrobes for years mourning this travesty is inevitable and of course, riots on a 2011 resemblance are already brewing outside the chain 'Claires Accessories'.

How? If I were Zayn, all I would have done is give my old pal Elaine the Pain a text (or email because she never checks her phone) and got her to be a replacement. NOBODY WOULD KNOW. 

Unfortunately this is not the case and we are all on our knees now praying for a miracle. 

Jeremy Clarkson. When I heard he had been fired, I presumed this meant he had been fired into space to be used as a deterrent for any extra terrestrial life, but no, they are still trying to get Bieber for that.

But my biggest issue with this decision is not the future of Top Gear, but the future of David Cameron's daughter. David Cameron himself told the BBC that she was on hunger strike until Clarkson regained his position on Top Gear. Uh oh. It seems as if the BBC are going to cause some domestics in the Cameron household, which (if it's not crumbling already) is going to have detrimental repercussions to government and inevitably, Great Britain as a whole. Brilliant. Thanks a bunch BBC. 

And we can't forget poor old Richard Hammond the Hamster, and the.. other guy, erm... James?

WAS three always a crowd? Could Top Gear now be about bicycles, seeing as a third wheel is no longer an problem?

I typed Jeremy Clarkson in on twitter to read the feed, and within ten seconds 200 new tweets had been tweeted. Which leads me on to my next point...

There I was, chilling in my dressing gown on my awkward university rooms spinny chair, when I had that light bulb moment. I felt like a genius, I could see my photo on the top of Daily Mail with a glorifying headline like.. "THIS GENERATIONS EINSTEIN" or "A NOBLE PRIZE WORTHY ACHIEVEMENT," followed by the riveting tale of a Cardiff University Student solving the issue to these two global issues. 

It's in the bands name; DIRECTION. The answer is glaring us in the face.

Top Gear... Jeremy likes to be on top... One Direction are (or were) top of the music industry (or whatever industry you can assign them to) ... and Jezza is now jobless.

So, here I am feeling smug with the being the brains behind the proposition of swapping Jeremy and Zayn over, BUT NO. 

Fellow tweeters were apparently on the same wavelength as me, with petitions and photoshops left, right and centre. 

'Not so innovative now, hey Molly.' But at least I know that this idea is universally brilliant and we have all breathe a sigh of relief as this phenomenal notion is bound to revolutionise the world.

 

Reasons to Celebrate on International Women's Day

Firstly, this isn't some radical, controversial, blog post. (I currently have a mountain of work to be doing and my energy right now is that of a damp flannel.)
However, being a woman/girl/female/human, in the 21st Century, in the United Kingdom, on International Women's Day, how can I not post recognition to some of the oh-so-fab wonders of ladyisms?!

1. In the space of three years, the amount of female billionaires has increased by 90%! (A newbie this year, Elizabeth Holmes is the founder of the blood testing company Theranos and is only 31!)
2. Speaking of money, we don't have to sit on our wallets or keys.

3. Lego's latest set includes a female scientist.
4. We can wear skirts.
5. We can wear trousers.
6. Something the size of a watermelon can be pushed out of our vagina.
7. And our boobs can produce milk?! Moo. 
8. Men can have paternal leave as well.
9. Malala Yousafazai - Nobel Prize recipient. A brave, 17 year old girl fighting for the rights of young girls to have an education. 
10. We don't have testicles. Giving birth is (apparently) unbelievably painful, at least something good comes from that pain.
11. A kitchen is where we belong? What about all those with Mageirophobia*? What about those who are lazy? Oh yeah, we have ready meals now. 
12.We don't get public boners.
13. We can cry but still appear to be strong.
14. We no longer have an obligation to be feminine or conform to a stereotype.
15. We can marry a man OR a woman.
16. We don't have to get married.
17. A woman can be a policeman. A man can be a midwife. We can go into any profession that we want. 
18. We finally have a female bishop!!
19. Female entrepreneurs: women are starting up to 1200 businesses a day. That's a lot of businesses. Does an eBay account count?
20. If we want to be taller, all we have to do is wear heels. (And possibly twist your ankle half way down the street).

21. If we don't shave, nobody needs to know.
22. We blow out more candles - sorry guys, but apparently women on average live longer than you.
23. Once a month you can have a legitimate reason crying and screaming at everybody. And then consuming an entire packet of oreo's.
24. Lena Dunham.
25. (and so of course) Girls. 

*Mageirocophobia  - the fear of cooking