Why is it even called a 'belly button'? Nothing happens when I press mine?! It sure is no remote control or dominoes deliverer. However that would make for a pretty cool super power...
But fear not belly button phobics! This blog post isn't debating whether sticky-out belly buttons are superior to inny belly buttons.
No this is about introverts and extroverts.
Or in my case, a bit of both?
When I was younger I used to be super loud and hyper and annoying. The kind of girl who would be walking down the school corridor and spontaneously enact a scene from The Exorcist and finish by doing a rolypoly.
Now, okay I am still those things.. at times, (especially annoying) but over the past few years I have sort of become more hedgehog-esque.
A prick?! No, no, no (well, I hope not?!) No, I have resulted to hibernating, frequently curling in on myself.
Social anxiety has pooed all over the outgoing side of me, and now I have a constant between wanting to do everything & anything with anyone and not wanting to leave my phenomenally uncomfortable bed all day.
Trying to define myself as either extrovert or an introvert is stupid, I am neither.
I think perhaps an extroverted introvert with introverted extrovert tendencies is a more applicable label for me. Or as some may say 'ambivert' but that's not as fun to say.
I don't know if being either is a good or bad thing, who really cares?
But I have been more aware of it over the past couple of months and have been taking note of some struggles, (literally - I have a cute little notepad that I carry around with my like the sad, wannabe-writer I am) and this is what I found.
1. One half of me genuinely loves being alone but the other half is incredibly needy and cries out for attention.
2. I will spend ages thinking about what I am going to say but then say something stupidly ridiculous and regret it instantly.
3. Being at a party it can all feel like toooooo much effort but if I don't go or leave early, I end up feeling like I'm missing out.
4. I take it really personally when I'm not invited to something but I probably wouldn't have gone anyway. Feel free to address me by Molly 'Flake' Wyatt.
5. I'll sometimes go out of my way to avoid speaking to a friend but a conversation with a stranger on a train comes is much easier.
(Not strangers on trains specifically, just strangers in general, sort of, to an extent. Oh dear.)
6. I can actually (believe it or not) be the life of the party but I need time to 'warm up'. *Does ten star jumps and lunges into starting position.* And when I have a good time, I reeaaaally have a good time. It feels uh-may-zing.
7. I constantly have an itch to be with others but my so-called 'brain' starts over-thinking and I end up too anxious so avoid it all together. Nice one Molly.
8. However, I SUCK at replying to texts, it's nothing personal, I just don't want to talk to anybody, but if somebody doesn't reply to me within 3 minutes, I find myself scanning my brain for all the things I could have done wrong to piss them off.
9. I live in my head but I can really put myself out there.
Basically my head is a cloud.
I know it sounds strange, (as does 98% of my jibber jabber), but it was in a rehearsal for a play that I realised this. For the a good seven tenths of a six hour rehearsal, I can sit just in my own quiet little bubble (I'm pretty sure the cast must forget that I am even there) perfectly content. And then I can leap onto stage like the elegant gazelle that I am (KIDDING) and suddenly feel like I have drunk eighteen cans of Monster.
10. I'm probably at my happiest in a busy place but kept by myself.
Okay so I love to sit in a hectic coffee shop and people watch. Yes, I am that person.
11. My personal hell is being forced to a party when I'm desperado to be alone.
12. I seem rather anti-social but I like to think of it as 'selectively social.' (So if I am arranging something with you, you should feel privileged... or very scared.)
13. (Ending on an unlucky number because I am unlucky in love...)
I am truly terrible at dating, hence being a twenty year old who has never had a boyfriend. I don't even think this is relevant to being an introvert extrovert but I am watching The Undateables feeling very sorry for myself. Hashtag Forever Alone. Hashtag Sorry for a Lackluster Blog Post.
Until next time,
ADIOS AMIGOS!
*whispers* Now please may you leave me and myself alone, and shut the door on your way out.
No this is about introverts and extroverts.
Or in my case, a bit of both?
When I was younger I used to be super loud and hyper and annoying. The kind of girl who would be walking down the school corridor and spontaneously enact a scene from The Exorcist and finish by doing a rolypoly.
Now, okay I am still those things.. at times, (especially annoying) but over the past few years I have sort of become more hedgehog-esque.
A prick?! No, no, no (well, I hope not?!) No, I have resulted to hibernating, frequently curling in on myself.
Social anxiety has pooed all over the outgoing side of me, and now I have a constant between wanting to do everything & anything with anyone and not wanting to leave my phenomenally uncomfortable bed all day.
Trying to define myself as either extrovert or an introvert is stupid, I am neither.
I think perhaps an extroverted introvert with introverted extrovert tendencies is a more applicable label for me. Or as some may say 'ambivert' but that's not as fun to say.
I don't know if being either is a good or bad thing, who really cares?
But I have been more aware of it over the past couple of months and have been taking note of some struggles, (literally - I have a cute little notepad that I carry around with my like the sad, wannabe-writer I am) and this is what I found.
1. One half of me genuinely loves being alone but the other half is incredibly needy and cries out for attention.
"Love me, hug me, stroke me, talk to me, notice me, why are you ignoring me, am I annoying? Because I am annoying myself."
"No really, I think it was good that he dumped you."
I'm naturally talkative and LOTS to say, but when it comes to it, I'm having most of the conversation in my head. Not ideal.3. Being at a party it can all feel like toooooo much effort but if I don't go or leave early, I end up feeling like I'm missing out.
4. I take it really personally when I'm not invited to something but I probably wouldn't have gone anyway. Feel free to address me by Molly 'Flake' Wyatt.
5. I'll sometimes go out of my way to avoid speaking to a friend but a conversation with a stranger on a train comes is much easier.
(Not strangers on trains specifically, just strangers in general, sort of, to an extent. Oh dear.)
6. I can actually (believe it or not) be the life of the party but I need time to 'warm up'. *Does ten star jumps and lunges into starting position.* And when I have a good time, I reeaaaally have a good time. It feels uh-may-zing.
7. I constantly have an itch to be with others but my so-called 'brain' starts over-thinking and I end up too anxious so avoid it all together. Nice one Molly.
8. However, I SUCK at replying to texts, it's nothing personal, I just don't want to talk to anybody, but if somebody doesn't reply to me within 3 minutes, I find myself scanning my brain for all the things I could have done wrong to piss them off.
9. I live in my head but I can really put myself out there.
Basically my head is a cloud.
I know it sounds strange, (as does 98% of my jibber jabber), but it was in a rehearsal for a play that I realised this. For the a good seven tenths of a six hour rehearsal, I can sit just in my own quiet little bubble (I'm pretty sure the cast must forget that I am even there) perfectly content. And then I can leap onto stage like the elegant gazelle that I am (KIDDING) and suddenly feel like I have drunk eighteen cans of Monster.10. I'm probably at my happiest in a busy place but kept by myself.
Okay so I love to sit in a hectic coffee shop and people watch. Yes, I am that person.
11. My personal hell is being forced to a party when I'm desperado to be alone.
12. I seem rather anti-social but I like to think of it as 'selectively social.' (So if I am arranging something with you, you should feel privileged... or very scared.)
13. (Ending on an unlucky number because I am unlucky in love...)
I am truly terrible at dating, hence being a twenty year old who has never had a boyfriend. I don't even think this is relevant to being an introvert extrovert but I am watching The Undateables feeling very sorry for myself. Hashtag Forever Alone. Hashtag Sorry for a Lackluster Blog Post.
Until next time,
ADIOS AMIGOS!
*whispers* Now please may you leave me and myself alone, and shut the door on your way out.
