Weekly Wipe: Charlie Hebdo, WinStone Churchill & a Vlogger

Our Thursday night's have been blessed with thirty minutes of television excellence as Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe returns to BBC 2. With a bundle of the weeks bleak news, ludicrous media coverage, latest films and popular TV, Brooker sure doesn't bite his tongue. Superbly satirical yet bang-on point, I'm forever gasping, screeching and wiping tears... (of laughter) as the programme shows hair-pulling footage and parodies the media. 

"I don't want to sound like a hipster but I was saying 'je suis Charlie' at age 11 in French lessons at school."  
Being the first episode of the year, including the Charlie Hebdo news story was no surprise, but the approach made me a tad hot under the collar. His sharp tongue didn't tip toe around the taboo topic and he comments on the idiocy of the entire coverage. Which unfortunately, led to the ear-bleeding, eye burning, FOX News report on no-go-zones i.e. Birmingham. 

AND PRAISE THE LORD! The Page 3 story would be unescapable on such a show; and he sure did speak sense, (unlike those at The Sun);
"A sort of revenge porn, haha that'll teach you ey women. The Sun's put you in your place - back in your box, in the kitchen, under a glass ceiling, that's been badly parked, with your tits out. Now run along and make my dinner." 

This week included a 'vlogger'. Love or hate the vlogging world, everything about this sketch (yes, it's not a real vlogger), made me crease with laughter. And with parody copyright laws allowing more freedom, the vlog has most certainly made the most of this leniency.  No disrespect to BBC 2, I love it, but parodying a vlog so perfectly was like when 'University Challenge' asked a question about 'FRIENDS'. Bloody brilliant, yet so unexpected.
But a word of warning for vloggers who are yet to watch it though: it may hit a nerve and you may feel the blood rushing to your face in embarrassment. 

I must add, whilst Charlie Brooker is a bloody genius, his recurring guests Philomena Cunk and Barry Sh*tpeas on the other hand, take 'genius' to a whole new level. 
Let's just say that we all need Philomena Cunk in our lives. Played by Diane Morgan, this week she delivered an enticing, educational, inspiring Moments of Wonder piece on 'WinStone Churchill.'
She began by addressing something we've all been wanting to ask...

Followed by some undeniably enriching information;
"War 2 was like War 1 but easier to understand because the baddie was better," or, 
"if Churchill was alive today he'd do brilliant Tweets," and finally "so how did WinStone Churchill come to invent tippex?" This, ladies and gents, is what needs to be getting shown in lessons for children.
Oh and remember Konnie Huq? Blue Peter presenter and child icon from yonder day? OR Charlie Brooker's wife; a frequent contributor to the dark humour of Weekly Wipe, Brooker said that she tends to (albeit not officially) chip in ideas! Who'd have thunk it?! 

Boobs Aren't News! The Sun has Finally Set on Page Three

Waking up at ridiculous o'clock after an awful night sleep to the news that the infamous Page Three topless models are to be dropped from 'The Sun'  was the morning's cup of coffee sent from above.

On a daily basis, since 1970, page three of 'The Sun' has shown a model stood posing with her breasts out. The controversies and Twitter feuds surrounding this have continued for years, bringing to light many other feminist issues within society. But as of today, bare boobs - no more! 

Evidently, there have been claws out in response to this transition, specifically from models themselves. 
"It's only a matter of time before everything we do will be dictated by comfy shoe-wearing, no bra-wearing, man-haters," said model Rhian Sudgen. (I keep re-reading that quote and laughing at how ridiculous she sounds.)
Fellow 'comfy shoe-wearing no bra-wearing, man-haters' such as Eliza Dolitle, Caitlin Moran, Jennifer Saunders,Tony Hawks, MP Caroline Lucas, and over 217,000 others have signed this petition to eradicate page 3 topless models. Because yes, we are all men-hating, ankle-covered, hairy armpit women ready to impose female domination over the male specie. PUH-LEASE. 

This is not about shaming the models,or dictating what women can or cannot do.

This is about equality.  Feminism is about equality.

When I signed the petition and shared it on Facebook a few years back, the next day a friend said to me "oh come on, you only signed it because you're flat chested." Size AA or not, my pancake chest is irrelevant to why I feel so strongly about this. We have become desensitized Page Three.. Look beyond the boobs on display, what have these images been telling us? What purpose have they had? Women shouldn't be exploited, even if it is their own choice, and be identified as a sexual object. Women are not objects, we are humans, just as men are humans too. 

It may seem that feminists are being contradictory following the 'Free the Nipple' campaign; from liberating the nipple to saying bye-bye to nip on show. Boobs are not the issue. It is what is being stood for that is the issue. Boobs ARE great. Nudity is great, in fact I was considering becoming a naturist... (just kidding), but people seem to have forgotten what the reasoning behind the function of Page 3, and the connotations it has brought. 

Those behind 'No More Page 3' have proved that passion and voice can make a difference, and their effort from over the years should be praised. Now I shall shush my mush and finish with some wise words from No More Page 3 themselves;

"Our work will not be done until women are featured in the papers in the same way and for the for same reasons that men are – for their talents, their abilities and for the things they do."

.

Another Pint Gargler Standing for PM?

It appears that Nigel Farage will not be the only pint-downing 'politician' at this year's general election. 

In a battle of the binge drinker, Britain's favoured pub landlord, Al Murray, will be standing against Nigel Farage in South Thanet.
Yes, Al Murray. No this isn't a joke.
We all got fairly roused by the prospect of Russell Brand being Prime Minister of Great Britain, but did we ever consider an acclaimed comedian, renowned for his inebriated character, would ACTUALLY take on the government?!

This won't be his usual type of stand-up; Murray plans to stand for his newly established political party FUKP, (Free United Kingdom Party) as he announced in a recent video posted on YouTube saying;
"It seems to me that the UK is ready for a bloke waving a pint around offering common sense solutions.” 

It is rather hilarious, scary yes, but I can't help but find this rather amusing. When I first heard about this rather exciting proposal, I thought perhaps it was going to be Alistair Hay, the 'actual' man behind the character of Al Murray, stepping out of his 'Guv' shoes and into his 'Gov' brogues. But no, it will in fact be his alter ego, popular pub landlord character.

So what can we expect from Al?
Educated at Oxford University, he has initiated a plan of action:

• 1p pints (gutted, I hate beer).
• He has pledged that "the UK will leave Europe by 2025 and the edge of the Solar System by 2050. Common Market sense." 
• Revaluing the pound coin as £1.10 - cha-ching! 
• Boris Johnson to put on an island. 
• And of course, to win over the voters, South Thanet to be made the new capital of the UK. The rest of his incredibly, revolutionary policies can be found on his website :http://thepublandlord.com/

It's safe to say that this years general election is going to be interesting...

On that note please make sure you register to vote! Or don't complain when Nigel Farage is taking over the world...

New Year: New Calender

I'm sure I'm not the only person who  adopts an aloof attitude during the New Year period regarding the "new year, new me" declaration. Ever the pessimist, I disregard the significance of a new year. That's not to say I don't love new years celebrations (any excuse for a party...) but each year when I scroll down my twitter feed reading vow upon vow of changes people are pledging to make, I can't help but roll my eyes. Illness plus procrastination (and general laziness) has resulted in a life-lacking, boring potato called Molly. Since launching RockAndMole I have blogged a feeble amount of SIX TIMES. Due to lack of motivation and anxiety of what people think about my writing, I have prevented any chance of improving not just this blog, but life as a whole.

However, after a blog binge on New Years day, I felt somewhat regretful towards the opportunities I have thrown away over the past couple of years. I read numerous posts from bloggers, not just about how they are going to revamp their lifestyle, but highlighting key points of what they achieved in 2014. Yes I did have a jam-packed 2014; travelling through Europe and starting university but have I have much sense of Carpe Diem? 
Driving through the countryside the other day, on route back to university in Cardiff, I had a 'gazing out the window, pretending I'm in a music video' moment and suddenly felt motivated and excited about the year ahead.

So what will I be doing about this?

MAKING USE OF MY CALENDER.

I love writing but I haven't given myself anything to write about. I'm going to make it an obligation to write every week. Whether or not I put it into a blog is irrelevant; but actually making plans, going out and finding things to write about is going encourage me to make the most of my life, as opposed to being a social recluse in my teeny, tiny, lava-lamp lit university bedroom and binging on Netflix.

MINGLE LIKE A PRINGLE.

It sounds obvious but being sociable; I want to meet new people this year. I am in my first year at university and what better time to be creating new friendships? Each person has their own stories, their own oddities, factors which I can feed off to make me even more eager to make the most of this year, (and every year after this year). And of course, not being such a lame/useless/semi-existent friend to the current wonderful humans in my life.

REMEMBERING WHAT J'ADORE.

I appear to have developed a tendency in feeling sorry for myself, I often find myself reminiscing through old photos and videos of times where my life revolved around doing things because I enjoy them, not because I 'needed to be doing something with my life.' Be prepared for film reviews, shopping hauls, music recommendations or many politically - angry -  rants about things which I  feel very, perhaps TOO, strongly about (think feminism, animal rights, mental health, and the evil, obscure specimen of 'Beliebers'.

BECOMING ELF-IER

I aspire to grow my ears, find the perfect pair of yellow tights and becoming besties with Mr Clause.

Kidding.

*BECOMING HEALTHIER

No, I do not mean going on some fad diet or suddenly training to be the next Tour de France, or a World Champion triathlon athlete. In order for the above actions to either take place, or perhaps the result of the above actions actually taking place, sorting out myself as a whole must be prioritised. And by 'whole', I don't just mean all my organs or BMI or blood pressure etcetera etcetera improving, above all, my mind. 

This isn't "goodbye 2014, hello 2015," it's a kick up the backside to get myself into gear. Because lets face it, being a bore is boring. 

*Ching ching*