Grieving on Valentines Day

In the flat by myself for the weekend, as many friends venture off for a romantic filled weekend with their significant other, I gaze out of the window longing, hoping that my one true love may return. Whilst many fellow singletons may be crying into their pillow or celebrating their independence, I am lost. I cannot function.

For those who know what it is like to have such an attachment and connection, to then be torn apart unexpectedly, I feel your pain. It was out of my hands, there was nothing I could do to get us back together. And the cherry on top of this cake? This happened three days prior to Valentines Day.

“It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”

 - John Steinbeck

Never have words had such significance to my life. If only Morrissey was reliant, in that the light really does never go out. For me, for us, the light has gone. Or so I presume..

It happened like many 21st century break-ups do, on a night out. It was my fault and there is now nothing I can do. Gone from me, no goodbye, out of my hands, literally. My heart has been stolen for all these years, and now my love has been stolen from me, literally. Our connection has been cut off, literally.

Literally...? 

I'd rather not go in to details about the separation of us two but lets just say it was not intentional. 

Life with no phone has been worse than I ever thought possible. No Instagram photos to like, no 'bubble shooter' games to waste my life away with, no Snapchat story updates, no WhatsApp messages from my flat mates, no iMessages from my friends that live 3 houses down, no Tinder notifications from a possible Prince Charming's, and finally, NO SELFIE CAMERA.

In all seriousness though, (okay that last bit was probably relatively correct) being phoneless for even just a day was hell. I am addicted to my phone. I admit it. Going to check my phone during a lecture, needing to contact someone, needing a calculator, NEEDING TO KNOW THE BLOODY TIME, the constant need to 'keep my hands busy' (insert dirty thoughts..), the list is endless. Quite sad really isn't it? 

I would like to say I have spent the past few days enjoying a technology-free life, appreciating the beautiful city I live in, delving into books or art... but no. I have spent my days Googling the best offers on iPhone's and sorting out a temporary phone. It's been as though I've ran out of knickers. 

Before we know it, 'iPhone implants' or 'iPhone contact lenses' are going to take over and we are going to eventually morph into the product itself, having to shove a charger up our anus when we go to sleep. 

On that note whether you're having a threesome with Ben and Jerry or actually doing something romantic *rolls eyes* - HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Molly X